do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Text me some of your sweat
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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