I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
