My friends, they love my intelligence
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
