Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
