I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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