He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
