How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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