he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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