I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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