He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
