He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
