i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
