sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
