oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
