This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
do herpes really smell.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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