question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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