I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
