Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
