I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
