his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
