you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
