Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
