imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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