The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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