4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
