i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
