It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
