He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
