Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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