probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
