Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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