Your dad touched me again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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