Me. At least after what I've been through.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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