How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
