she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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