Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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