So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
