i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize