I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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