are you still at the devil's house?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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