All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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