My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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