is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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