Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
