he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I am naked and annoyed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
