I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
