Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
