bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
be right there i have to get my cape
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
