its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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