So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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