3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
